Almost a week ago, I posted this picture to my social networking profile.
It's caption read: "Post-work commute anyone?"
Barely more than a week before I took this photo, I relocated to Colorado to work at a mountain resort for the winter – not something I would've guessed was in the cards just a few months ago. But why not?
After riding the GDMBR and then taking part in the Mototaxi Junket, this move seems tame by comparison. But I still consider it to be an adventure. This was the first time I had moved to a different state, and to a place where I knew no one. Why not? That's the spirit of adventure.
One of the people who commented on the photo said they loved that I was out there "looking for adventure while looking for [my]self … "
Yes, I am looking for adventure … that has become something of my modus operandi. However, this adventuring has nothing to do with "finding myself." That was something I got out of my system some time ago.
See, finding yourself implies that you're searching for something within yourself. Searching feels like an eliminatory process … a limiting process. And the word itself — "search" — has such a passivity to it, a desperation — like a failed attempt.
If the search was successful, people would speak in the past tense and say "found" or "discovered." To search is just to continue the failure. This is why I'm not searching, but creating …
For me, adventuring has become the means by which I create myself. Intentionally doing something I'm not comfortable with is how I ensure I'm taking an an active role in my own personal development – thereby creating myself (and — I'd like to think — a pretty interesting life at the same time).
So … my recommendation: forget looking, searching, discovering (etc.) yourself. Just envision what you want to be and start creating yourself. You are an artist and your life has the potential to be your greatest work of art.
So yes, this winter is my current adventure … but instead of it being a way to find myself, it is instead the way in which I am creating myself.